3 months is too stupid long between posts, and I’ve been having so many amusing thoughts. So just pretend with me that it’s March 21, and let’s do this spring thing together.

First of all, trees. Amazing, no? Trees go through the entire life cycle every year, dormancy, budding, sex, work, some creating fruits or dropping seeds, and then withering and dormancy again. The same thing is happening to me, I’m just one very self-involved leaf on a very big tree, covered in billions of self-involved leaves.

And what’s more, the exuberant tree sex of spring makes me drip with slime like a hyperactive snail. For which I consume generic Claritin-D. I sometimes forget I’ve taken it. If you’ve ever had a noxious experience with any Claritin-D-type allergy product, please leave me a comment.

And speaking of the sexy world of spring, have you ever heard of the opalescent squid? They are extremely abundant along the eastern Pacific Coast, are usually about 11″ long, live for a year or two and they have an extraordinary life cycle. On one night, they all come together in an orgiastic frenzy, falling through the water and bringing their snow-white bodies together. The males’ limbs flush red to indicate their receptivity as they grasp the females, then they come apart and the female falls to the ocean floor, deposits her sack of eggs (the seeds of 300+ more opalescent squid) and dies. The males may each mate 3 or 4 times a piece- sexist nature!- and then they also fall to the ocean floor and die. When it’s all over, the starfish come out and carry away the bodies. Somehow the eggs remain untouched, apparently.

Maybe it’s way Hollywoodized, but the depiction of the night of opalescent wonder in the IMAX movie Into the Deep was tremendously affecting and gorgeous. xxx!

Here is the TuraLura Hanging Kicks shirt. What do you know about the Hanging Kicks?

Hand embroidered Tshirt from original photo. Buy a shirt and find out what I know about the Hanging Kicks here.

I finally managed to work up the nerve to take a picture of a total stranger on the subway without her ever knowing. I have been tempted so many times. Some mornings are non-stop glamour shootouts, others are hoodies and baseball caps. However, other than the Red-Haired Girl (eat your heart out, Charlie Brown), I’ve recently witnessed various awesome public transportation moments:

A family of foreign tourists, pater, mater, teenage son and lolita daughter, is riding the southbound local. At 42nd St, the man gets out of the train, but the doors close behind him, leaving his bewildered family on the subway without him. Immediately, well-meaning NYers step in to advise the confused woman on how to get back to the 42nd St platform, but she’s not sure she shouldn’t wait at the next stop for him to come to her. She starts to look quite petrified. And I think to myself, what a great set-up for a movie. Your foreign cell phone definitely won’t function in the bowels of the MTA, you have no way to contact each other, who should wait for who? Does the family get even more separated? What kind of nonsense befalls them? Will the girl run off into the NYC afternoon? There’s a lot of possibilities. Screenwriters, hit me up.

Then the other day I and all the rest of the passengers in my car eavesdropped on a conversation two men were having about heavyweight boxing, discussing the merits of Mayweather vs. Tyson, Michael vs, Leon Spinks, fairly loud. No mention of The Greatest, my all-time fave champ on whom I and half the world , I bet, still hugely crush on, though I strained my ears mightily to hear. No mention of Evander Holyfield, Ken Norton or George Foreman. But still, what they were saying was interesting and lively and made my commute more fun.

The thing that really made it over-the-top was when the man standing next to me couldn’t resist getting in on it all, an intelligent, loud three-way conversation ensued across the bridge, and a congenial time was had by all.

Let’s face it, Valentine’s Day can be a tad cute. All that sugar, and hearts, and pink and red, is it really that sexy? I don’t think so. Not to mention the too-sad sight of all those people on the subway, clutching their wilting, overpriced hothouse roses drowning in baby’s breath and balloons and an unconscionable number of teddy bears

Some of us might prefer a slightly darker romantic holiday. With red lipstick, thigh-high patent leather boots, stockings and garters, dark chocolate, Kir Royale, maybe? And this perfect present for your kinky sweetheart, whether she’s a top or a bottom.

Buy it now at TuraLura To Go.

Have you ever been to Mexico? Did you know they’ve been drinking chocolate there for 3,000 years? They know a thing or two. I found this in my barrio neighborhood supermarket, and I must tell you, it’s delicious. Disks of chocolate encrusted with cinnamon sugar that you cut up into quarters and blend with hot milk (or rice milk, if you’re me.) It’s also nice to have around for an instant, albeit super-sweet chocolate treat when you really need one and can’t be bothered to walk to the bodega for candy at 1 am. Drink up, and dream of Mexico.

It’s winter, it’s cold, and yet, here in NYC women continue to be glamorous. I’ve seen some really gorgeous pairs of boots on the subway lately, but I haven’t yet plucked up the nerve to ask strange subway fashionistas if I can photograph their boots, or bags, or whole outfit. More on that another time. Because I can see that the subway fashionistas are in need of help: they need Stockingirl. Specifically, they need at least 3 pairs of these fantastic Merino wool over-the-knee socks, in black, chocolate and charcoal. Wear them over tights on the coldest days and your legs will stay warm, wear them alone on cool days for an urban warrior chic type of thing. They don’t have that dorky PE-class-at-Rock’N'Roll-High-School look that knee socks can have, and when they slip down that little bit that they do, it’s kind of fun to pull them back up over your knees. And not only that, they’re not very bulky; I have large shapely calfs and they don’t make my legs look like elephant stumps. And last but not least, they’re on sale, so go get ‘em.